How God Affected My Life

When I was quite young I began questioning the meaning of life. I wondered why we were all here and what the point of living was and most importantly what happens when we die. I was raised Catholic and became quite religious. However, the empty feeling I had and the search for meaning was not answered or filled. I tried drugs, sex and the occult but nothing worked. I never met a born again Christian until I was an adult. I saw a few on T.V. and when they were on T.V. they were usually portrayed as idiots. I must confess they seemed odd somehow. The lack of meaning in my life caused me to become depressed and I felt like I was nobody in this world. I was a speck of dust, an accident of life. The depressions became so bad that I started self-mutilating. I would cut myself in order to feel physical pain because the physical pain was a relief from the emotional pain I was experiencing. My mother and father didn't know what to do with me. One night when I was feeling this way I decided to get down on my knees and pray. I prayed that if God was there to please let me know because I could no longer live this life without knowing Him. My prayer was answered. The cloud of depression lifted immediately and the atmosphere in my room changed. I felt the presence of God. He said to my mind.."I am here and everything is going to be OK". My emotional state was transformed from suicidally depressed to euphoria. I went to bed feeling like all was well in the world. I woke up the next morning with the same feeling and presence of God.

Previously, I had tried to read and understand the Bible. I never could understand it and the Bible itself states "the natural man discerneth not the things of God". After that night I could understand the Bible and read it voraciously. I found a church and discovered that I had been born again on that night. I believe that if you are born again you will know without a doubt in your mind, at least that was my experience.

Ever since that night so long ago I have always felt that God has been there for me no matter what. I have not been a perfect Christian, in fact I am far from it but I know what is the truth, I know why I am here and where I will go when I die. I raised my son to have a firm foundation in the word of God and he has followed The Lord ever since he was a teenager. I know that whatever I do in life that this is just a temporary stage and that before you know it we will be with God in heaven where our true life is hid. With this knowledge it is easy to not sweat the small stuff and to enjoy life and have peace and love. Knowing this has enabled me to live life in such a way as to treat it as a grand adventure. I have no fear because this life is not my "be all end all". I enjoy each day and treat it as a gift from God and when bad things happen I know that this too shall pass and someday I will be with Him where he will wipe away every tear.